“Since
I was a kid, I've been able to sleep through anything -- storms,
sirens, you name it. Last night, I didn't sleep. I guess I get
a little goofy when I'm nervous. You see, today isn't just any other
day. It's my first day. [proudly,
to his reflection]
I'm the man. And four years of pre-med, four years of med school, and
tons of unpaid loans have made me realize one thing...' Nurse:'Good.
Could you go drop an NG tube on the patient in 234, and call the
attending if the lavage is positive?'... 'I don't know jack.”
These
are the opening lines of the show Scrubs. Possibly the most accurate
depiction of what it is like to be a medical intern of any television
show that I've seen.
Last
week I started out on the floor for my orientation of what it's like
on inpatient medicine. I had my first call shift, I wrote my
first script, I admitted a few patients and discharged a few. I
may have even made one decision on my own. It was terrifying.
This
week I saw my first patient in the office, while being shadowed by my
advisor Dr. Otsuji (36+ years in practice). Carl said it best
"They shouldn't call it shadowing, they should call
it... scrutinizing." After about five minutes of
talking to the patient I looked at him with the thoughts in my head
"Well, you're the doctor..what should she do?"
It
is a big leap from fourth year of medical school where you are always
under the guidance of others, and they make all the decisions, to
intern year where the nurses call you doctor and ask you to write
medicines for patients. Now I'm expected to know things, and
make decisions and all of that crazy sh*t. It's been rough
getting used to introducing myself as Dr. Gladstone. It feels
phony.
I
have also learned that my work personality is shy. I was told
that by our orientation director, Dr. Zeltzer. Interestingly
enough, I've never been called shy in my life. I guess you
learn something new about yourself all the time.
Another
line from the first episode of Scrubs goes like this: "So,
what's it like being a young, hot-shot doctor?' 'It's like... Did you
ever go see a movie that everyone told you was great, and then
because of all those expectations, you ended up totally
disappointed?' 'Movies nowadays have too many special effects.'
'Yeah, that was pretty much my point.'" And I totally know
what he means. Well, if you don't hear from me for a long time
that is because I am a medicine intern and I have no life outside of
the hospital. Wish me luck!